A reflection of the past year

Photo by Dewang Gupta on Unsplash

I mean.. where do I even start? 2020 was… well, strange, testing and just all round confusing.

I think it’s fair to say, this past year we’ve all had very different experiences. I cannot speak for everyone, so this post is purely on my experiences, the lessons I’ve learnt and how this past year has been for me.

It’s been a roller coaster of emotions to say the least, something none of us saw coming. The pandemic took us all by surprise and pretty naively I thought it wouldn’t last this long (we’re currently in our third national lockdown here in the UK). It’s tested me in ways I have never experienced before, but it’s also made me stronger and far more determined than I ever have been.

The simplest way of putting this is, I’ve grown massively as a person. I’ve had time to really look at my life and what I want from it. I’ve grown mentally, physically (home workouts) and most importantly, spiritually. I feel like a completely different person to who I was this time last year.

I’ve always had goals, things I’ve wanted to achieve, places to visit, people to meet.. that sort of thing. But to have all that taken away from you, from what seemed like over night.. really puts things into perspective. Being at home so much, most of the time only being in my own company, has really given me the kick up the bum I needed, so for that I’m grateful.

I’ve made career moves I probably wouldn’t have if I wasn’t forced to stay home. I’ve read book after book on law of attraction and manifestation, I’ve learnt how to manifest properly, my confidence has grown in all aspects of my life, I’ve saved for my future like I never have before, I’ve spent time with my loved ones (who I still live with), I’ve been able to be with my dog practically all day every day (so grateful for that because she’s precious to me), I’ve learnt how to slow down and not always be on the go, I’ve learnt to appreciate the nature around me more (walks being the only thing we can do), I’ve learnt that my happiness should always be my priority, I’ve learnt to never ever take my family or friends for granted again and when it is safe to do so, I’m going to squeeze them all so tight. I’ve learnt that life is precious and we should grab every opportunity we get, that goals and aspirations are important, I’ve learnt that baking and writing is where my passion is, I’ve learnt to trust my gut instinct.. always, I’ve learnt that there are so many amazing people in this world and we would be quite frankly lost without them.. and the list goes on!

But on the flip side, I’ve also had one of the most testing years of my life. It’s pushed me to my limits, I’ve cried a lot, I’ve had sleepless nights, I’ve had times when all I did was watch the news to see what was going on in the world, some days I haven’t left my bed, I’ve binge watched Netflix far more than I should have, I’ve let my routine slip, my unhealthy eating and lack of exercise habits creep back in, I’ve been angry and confused.. I’ve felt them all.. just as we all have.

It’s been tough, scary, uncertain, crazy, devastating, terrifying.. all those words you would use when someone in the future asks about what we all went through. But I’m simply saying, for me, I managed to have a semi good year with the biggest thing being self improvement. I’ve learnt so much, grown so much and despite all that is still very much going on in the world, I some how managed to use that in order to grow as a person.. I am truly grateful for that!

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