How to improve your confidence

Photo by Kenrick Mills on Unsplash

I realise this is a bit of a random post for me. But I was thinking a little while ago about how un-confident I used to be..

Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a working progress and confidence definitely does not just appear over night (if only it did). But I feel like I’m at a point where I am able to share the ways I’ve improved my confidence.. for those wanting to do the same.

A little back story; I’ve never been the most confident person in the world, but equally I wasn’t the most un-confident person in the world. I was kind of half way between the two. I was confident in most aspects of my life but not so much in others.. for example, I hated going places alone. This might seem minor to most people but for me, I hated the fact that I hated going to places alone. I knew it was a confidence thing and I knew for myself it was something I had to get to grips with. Side note; there is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to go places alone, I’m just speaking from experience.. it’s something I wanted to work on.

Anyway, I want to say the past year or so (maybe a little longer), I’ve been doing everything I can to be more confident. And by confident I don’t mean one of those people that walk into a place and demands everyone’s attention. I mean inner confidence, my independence, confidence in my abilities and successes.. that sort of thing.

I realise some of these things might not work for everyone, they are just what has helped me, and may help others too.

Stopped comparing myself to others

This for me was the biggest point. With everything being so accessible these days, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. I don’t just mean people on social media (although that is the most common one), I also mean friends and family members and sometimes even strangers. It’s the quickest way to knock your self confidence. We look at others successes, achievements, where they are in life and maybe even the way they look and automatically compare our situation to theirs. It’s like we’re programmed to self criticize. For the most part, I don’t do this anymore. It’s not the easiest thing to cut out of your life, it takes practice and a lot of self discipline. But rather than being envious and comparing myself to them, I appreciate and use their success to motivate myself.

Work on myself every single day

I’m very much a driven person, I’m someone who wants to succeed in life. There are so many things I want to accomplish. So every day I do something that is going to benefit me. It doesn’t always have to be something major, it could just be going for a walk. But just going for a walk will benefit me in many ways; the fresh air and being in nature helps my mental health, the walk itself helps keep me fit, getting to see dogs running around without a care in the world is good for the soul. So that ‘walk’ that seems small, is actually benefitting me in many ways. I’m working on bettering myself each and everyday, so those small things actually add up. Obviously this works in terms of bigger things, if you want to be the best at something, you work at it each and every day. Working on yourself and watching yourself grow is one of the best ways to boost self confidence.

Incorporated a self improvement morning routine

I’ve done a post on my new and improved morning routine, so I won’t bang on about it too much. But for me it has been a game changer. Getting up earlier than I need to on a morning and spending that time working on myself has given me confidence in ways I cannot even explain. For starters, it has given me confidence that I have the determination I need to make improvements in my life and also stick to them. But mainly it has given me the confidence to understand that change is good, self work is good and getting up early to purely focus on myself is good.

Used visualisation and affirmations

During my morning routine and sometimes throughout the day I visualise and repeat my affirmations. If you wanted a specific car, you would use visualisation to see yourself driving that car. So do the same with confidence. See yourself being the confident person you want to be. You can have and be absolutely anything you want if you just put your mind to it. So get visualising! Affirmations can be extremely powerful if you use them properly. Just the same with your dream car, you would say affirmations about how grateful you are to be driving that car. Do the same with affirmations. State who you want to be, how confident you will be. Repeat them throughout the day.

Do something I love every day

I think self improvement is extremely important, obviously. But it’s also important to spend time doing the things we truly love. As far as confidence is concerned I feel like when you are truly present in whatever it is that makes you happy, you vibrate at a higher rate. This in turn raises your vibration and brings about your happiness. I love baking and reading, these two make me happy. So make sure you do something every day that you love. Be focused and driven, but also enjoy and love every aspect of your life.

Face my fears

I mentioned before about how I used to hate going to places alone. One place in particular was the gym. I’m not really sure why, because that is one place you can pretty much go about your business without having to communicate with anyone. You get in there, pick which machine you want to use and away you go. But for some reason, it used to scare the crap out of me. This was one area I knew I HAD to grow my confidence in. I wanted to be that girl that would do anything she wanted and not let the fear of doing it alone scare her. So I made myself do it.. I know that it is easier said than done, but honestly I found it the quickest way to improve my confidence. Once I did it, I never feared it again. Same goes for shopping alone, or going for food alone.. anything. Once I had done it the one time, I never looked back. In fact, when it comes to shopping, I actually prefer it now.. Funny how that bit of confidence can change things.

Regular exercise and healthy eating

I feel like this one goes without saying too. But to be honest with you, I wasn’t quite sure how this could actually improve my confidence. I guess it comes down to the regular exercise and the food I was eating. When it comes to food/drinks, I realised I had a couple of things that would trigger certain anxieties, for example.. coffee. I knew that when I drank quite a few cups of coffee it would start my anxiety, that then in turn would damage my confidence, because my anxiety would take a hold and stop me doing what I wanted to do (like going shopping alone), so I stopped the multiple coffees a day and now just have the one on a morning. When I was eating lots of ‘not so good foods’ it would make me feel sluggish and unmotivated, this would also affect my confidence. When I didn’t exercise regularly, it would make me feel like I wasn’t being active enough. So what I mean by this point is, feeling good on the inside is just as important as on the outside. When you take care of your body, you feel better in yourself.. hence the confidence boost.

Set myself regular goals

Have you ever written down a list of things to do, completed them all and felt like you could take on the world? Your inner confidence was through the roof and just by getting everything done on that list you felt like you’d smashed that day and gone to sleep with a smile on your face. When you get things done, when you complete goals.. it makes you feel happy, it raises your vibration.. that in turn raises your confidence. Set yourself daily goals, complete them and watch your confidence sky rocket.

Spend way more time in the real world

(Not social media world). This one goes on from the not comparing yourself to others point. When we spend a lot of time on social media, we get sucked into this world, that yes is very interesting, but sometimes can take us away from the things that matter. Like our families and nature. I try to spend as much time as I can in the beautiful real world that we are so very blessed to live in. I like to read, write, spend time with loved ones, bake, dance, sing (although not that good), go for walks, watch films, play games.. enjoy my time doing what I love. Doing those things, gives you perspective on life and in turn helps with confidence.

2 thoughts on “How to improve your confidence

  1. It’s awesome that you work on yourself every day. I believe that no matter how confident you feel one day from nailing all your tasks, you have to do it all over again the next day to earn your confidence once more.

    That keeps me on my toes, and it instils the thought of never resting on my laurels. Thanks for this, Lois!

    Liked by 1 person

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